Deborah’s Story – Childcare & Children’s Activities

“After all the trauma my grandchildren have been through, YMCA has been a lovely security blanket.”

When Deborah’s daughter-in-law died in childbirth in Indonesia in 2024, she stepped in to care for her three grandchildren. With support from the local community and YMCA, the children are adapting to life in the UK.

“My daughter-in-law, Kendra, lost her life giving birth to my youngest grandchild, Zoe, in Ampana in April last year,” explains Deborah. “As well as Zoe, Kendra and my son already had two children, James and Lexi. Death in childbirth shouldn’t happen in 2024 and it was devastating.”

Zoe was born six weeks early, leading to a number of medical issues including problems with her lungs and issues with swallowing. At eight weeks old, she collapsed and was taken to the local hospital for surgery.

“I knew the children were in a fragile family situation,” says Deborah. “Kendra had been doing her best, but the relationship with my son wasn’t working out as he has mental health challenges. Before she died, Kendra had applied for a UK visa and it had been granted, but she was too pregnant to fly. It was her wish for the children to grow up here.”

With no English-speaking schools in rural Sulawesi for James and Lexi and problems paying for Zoe’s hospital treatment, the only viable option was for the children to come to the UK. Once that decision was taken, Deborah says she didn’t hesitate to share her home with them.

The children arrived in the UK in July 2024. At the time, Zoe was still struggling to feed and weighed only 8lbs. Doctors believe she experienced a massive overinflation of her lung due to her premature birth. Since then, she has been in and out of hospital for treatment.

“Managing Zoe’s medical needs are a real challenge,” says Deborah. “There are lots of appointments and I have to feed her every three hours. This means it’s difficult for me to spend quality time with James and Lexi, particularly in the school holidays. That’s where YMCA has been so fantastic.”

James, 11, and Lexi, 7, were immediately given fully funded emergency places at YMCA’s Y-Kids holiday clubs, made possible by fundraising from YMCA Challenge events. The clubs gave them a safe space to enjoy a range of fun and creative activities, while Deborah was able to focus on Zoe’s medical needs. Since then, the family has continued attending the clubs thanks to support from Active Surrey, through a government initiative that provides free holiday places for families who need help with childcare costs. YMCA also funds places during half-term breaks.

“After all the trauma my grandchildren have been through, the YMCA has been a lovely security blanket,” says Deborah. “They’re there at crunch times like the school holidays. James and Lexi have lots of fun at the clubs and they feel safe, happy and relaxed. They always come out of the YMCA in a nice frame of mind, having had exercise and taken part in purposeful activities with other children.”

Deborah says that the impact of YMCA’s support has been profound: “James and Lexi have been through so much. Now they’ve had a year of stability, and the YMCA is a big part of that. The play workers understand trauma and have been so welcoming.”

Millie Groves, Out of School Childcare Senior Co-ordinator, said: “At Y-Kids, we run after school and holiday clubs where children have many toys and games to play with. We also invite them to do a set activity such as baking, crafts or sensory play depending on our theme of the week.

“Our sessions have given James and Lexi a chance to make new friends, develop skills and be welcomed into a secure and friendly environment. In turn, this has given Deborah the time she needs to care for Zoe. James and Lexi are lovely kids and we always enjoy having them with us.”

With the right support, the children are making positive steps. James is now happy at secondary school and Lexi is making great progress with her reading.

“I couldn’t be more proud of them and their resilience and courage after such traumatic adversity,” says Deborah. “Their mummy would be very proud of them, as we all are.” 

Zoe’s health is being monitored and it’s hoped that as she grows bigger, her lung issues will reduce and the swallowing difficulty will rectify itself. She’s even started nursery two mornings a week.

“All along the way we’ve been shown great kindness,” says Deborah. “I’m so thankful to everyone, including the YMCA. It was their mummy’s wish for the children to come to the UK and with everyone’s help, I’ve been able to fulfil her wish.”